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Author’s note; This piece was 75% done when “Princess” was posted. It was originally meant to be a quick bridge from chapter 1 to chapter 3, told from Maddie’s point of view to answer a lot of things that Steve doesn’t know yet. As I started finishing it I began to tinker. Here is the result of my tinkering. I hope you enjoy this……..SH
As I drive down the road on this fine December morning, in the second hour of a ten hour trip I reflect on the changes to my life since last summer. I also have plenty of time to analyze the recurring dream that woke me this morning, and the past several mornings. It haunts me because my mother and grandmother claim we Murphy women have prophetic dreams.
The psychology class I had originally wanted to take had filled up within minutes on registration day. Many Psych majors were going to have to postpone their graduation for another semester. The Dean of Science therefore decided to offer a special summer course for those affected students. A course of seven hour classes, five days a week for six weeks figured to get us all the credit we needed to graduate on time. I was actually trying to graduate early and this kept me on that track.
During one class, we had a discussion on family dynamics and sibling rivalry, leading to a discussion of my family and our treatment of my younger brother Steve. I talked about how my parents loved me so much, and bought me whatever I wanted and Steve was pretty much taking up space. During this particular discussion there was a scuffle off to one side of the room. I looked over to see several guys forcing a football player out of the room. I wondered what had gotten them all worked up, but figured it didn’t have anything to do with me so I paid no more attention to it.
The next day my professor asked to talk to me after class. When I got to her office, she was there with the football player from yesterday.
“Ms. Sheppard, please have a seat. This young man is Byron Childress. He is graduating as a junior and has been drafted into the NFL.” Byron wouldn’t look at me. He just sat there wringing his hands and staring at the floor. “Mr. Childress has a few things he would like to say to you, he had to take a day to calm down, and now feels he can speak evenly and not get emotional. Mr. Childress?”
He sat there for the longest time. He seemed to carry a weight greater than any he carried on the football field. When he finally spoke, his tone was low, soft and pleasant. “I envy you Ms. Sheppard. Not for your money. Not for your upbringing. Not for your material things that your daddy buys you.” I felt slightly offended at that but wasn’t going to show it.
“I am originally from a neighborhood in South Central Los Angeles. Believe me, most of the stories you hear about South Central are true. And you don’t hear half of the things that happen. Most Los Angelinos don’t hear of them, so don’t take that as an affront. My momma gave birth to two boys, myself and my younger brother Clarence. She also had three daughters, Clarice, who’s older than me and has three boys of her own, and Shantell and Mari.”
“Moms worked three jobs, seven days a week to keep food on our table. She made us read the bible and no matter what, family disputes were settled before they were an hour old, or she’d know why. Clarice was always in charge. If one of us younger kids got into trouble, moms came down on her for not keepin’ tabs on us. I’d rather slit my own throat than disappoint my momma or Clarice. When Clarice got pregnant and moved to her own place, I became the one in charge. It didn’t make no difference if I had football or schoolwork or what, I had to care for the younger kids while moms worked.”
“One Friday night while I was playing in a football game, Clarence went out and got mixed up with some gang members. He and several of his friends stopped these guys from messing with Shantell and her friend Juana. The next evening Clarence and his friends were gunned down as they walked to the church for bible study.” He shook and tears were rolling down his face. “You don’t know what it’s like to face your momma, to tell her that you fucked up and allowed her child to die. If I could, I would trade places with Clarence in a heartbeat!” He looked up and locked me in his gaze, “You can’t say that. You won’t trade your Mercedes down a class to help your brother. Us older brothers and sister have to look out for our younger siblings damn it! Who else they got? Who else?”
I haven’t lost Stevie yet, and damn it I’m not going to. I realized just how badly my brother has been treated by me and my parents. While my parents were never abusive to Steve, they barely acknowledged his existence. Most times it was like we were a family of three with a tag-along.
My dad would hand me money for just about anything I wanted. Steve borrowed $120 from him once when he was 12. He went and bought a used lawn mower and Weed eater from a small engine repair shop, along pendik escort with a couple of gas cans and some gas. He left every morning as the sun was coming up and came home just after sundown, and at the end of two weeks gave dad $150. He kept mowing lawns every day until fall and winter hit. Then he bought a rake and snow shovel and continued to make money that way.
When Steve was 13 he had some kind of flu that left him so weak he couldn’t even leave is bed to use the bathroom. Neither mom nor dad would do anything to help him. He lay in his bed for five days straight. My father chastised him for peeing in his bed, and started calling him a bed wetter, even in front of other people. The only person who got him through it was Wendy from across the street. She would bring him soup and help him clean up and nursed him back to health. He loved her. I truly believe that if she hadn’t been killed with her older brother on seven lakes road one winter night, four years ago, that Stevie and Wendy would be together still. They would have taken each other’s virginity. He took her death very hard. Luckily he had some friends to help him through it.
One Christmas my dad’s only sister, Aunt Karen asked my dad to allow her and my uncle to take Stevie to live with them. My dad refused and even quit speaking to her for a period of time. That was about the time that Stevie ceased interacting with the family.
When I described my brother as an annoying little jerk off, I was asked to give details as to why I felt that way. I couldn’t give one, that wasn’t dismissed as normal teenage behavior.
My professor asked me to meet her after class. “I have some big concerns about your brother’s mental health.” She told me. “The emotional isolation he’s been subjected to can cause many issues. Does he have any self destructive habits? Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, anything like that?”
I didn’t feel he drank any more, or less than any other teen I knew, but I shivered when I thought of his car that he never seemed to feel was fast enough.
After a few days of classroom discussions I decided I was going to make things right with my brother. One girl talked about her brother beating up a guy who hit her, well my brother is smaller than I am but it would be nice to feel that kind of love from him.
When I got home a week before the Fourth of July I tried to talk to him. He had become quite adept at avoiding me, and there were many places he could go that I didn’t know about. I thought about all the times I harassed him to be more like me in school and to try harder to be like me and I understood why he avoided me so.
I had even started breaking my friends’ habit of calling him down.
We were sunning one day and Steve was washing his car, which he did about every other day. My friend Amanda said, “I think the stain keeps checking me out. Maddie, can you deal with him please?”
“Get a life.” I said, “He isn’t harming anyone.”
“His presence is harming to me.” Said Charlotte.
Amanda huffed and I could swear I heard my friend Shelby tell Charlotte to “Shut the fuck up” and that she thought he was hot.
“What???” asked Charlotte.
“I think he’s hot! OK? He looks like a cross between Sebastian Bach and David Coverdale,” said Shelby defending her statement. “I’ve always thought he was hot, besides ‘Manda, I’ve seen you scoping his junk.”
Amanda looked redder in the face than usual, and seemed to be digging for a comeback, but the truth was written on her face. Even Charlotte seemed to reconsider her position a bit. I never realized my friends though my brother was anything other than annoying. As he walked across the yard to hang his chamois up to dry I caught myself, as well as my cohorts scoping him out. He walked back to his car, ignoring us as usual.
Shelby spent the night at my house that night. We were just talking when suddenly she asked me, “Do you ever think of Stevie as sexy?”
I had never though about it before, he was just Stevie. “He’s my brother. I can’t think he’s sexy.”
“When did you say he’d get up and piss?”
My brother had a knack for getting up to pee, no matter what time he went to bed, at 2:15 am every morning without fail. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to know so I told her, “In about ten minutes. Why?”
“I am going to make him want to fuck me here and now!”
I had no idea what she planned but I knew, for some reason I was jealous. I had no reason to be jealous since he is my brother. But it bothered me that she could want him, she could fuck him, she could marry him, and she could have his children. I couldn’t, and it wasn’t fair. For the first time in ages I wished he wasn’t my brother for a reason other than he annoyed me.
“What about Eric? You know your fiancé.”
“I’ve watched Stevie in the shower, Eric is no Stevie. Not even close! Your baby brother has a beautiful cock.”
I was a bit shocked to find my friend had been peeping on my brother, maltepe escort and I was also getting perturbed with her calling him “Stevie.” My aunt Karen is the only one who calls him that. I didn’t really feel I had the right to call him that, so neither did she.
A few minutes later she looked at the clock and jumped up. “Ready or not Stevie…” With this she stripped buck naked and headed into the bathroom. I moved my self around so that I could see into the bathroom. I saw Shelby put one foot up on the toilet and start masturbating. “He’s gonna shit himself when he sees that,” I thought to my self.
She was really getting into it when I saw his shadow appear on the opposite wall. I wished I could see his face, but I knew he got an eyeful as he stood there for a minute before retreating to his bedroom. I snuck into the bathroom and Shelby stopped jillin’. We crept to his bedroom door and heard him pissing out of his window. He went back to his bed and started jacking off for all he was worth.
“Man this is hot,” said Shelby. “I’m half tempted to go join him.”
I lightly punched her in the arm, but I have to admit my pussy was getting wet just knowing what he was doing 10 feet away. We crept back to my bed and climbed in.
Shortly I felt Shelby’s hand on my tit, which gave me cause to grab hers. Our lips met in a hot wet kiss. Our tongues sought each other out and our passion raged.
Neither one of us considered ourselves lesbian or even bi. But at times when we were both hornier than a goat we weren’t afraid to take care of each other. She broke our kiss and took my nipple into her mouth and began licking and flicking it with her tongue. I reached down with one hand and began tweaking her clit, while my other thumb and forefinger rolled and pulled on her nipples. I felt her hand flick my clit, sending electric shockwaves through my body. I buried my mouth in her hair to stifle a squeal of delight and she snaked two fingers into my sopping wet snatch. Wave after wave of pleasure swept through my body as she worked her digits into my cunt. I pushed her off me and rotated around so that I could put my head between her perfect thighs.
As we got into 69 position her mouth locked onto my pussy and sucked me rapidly to orgasm. I clamped my mouth on her inner thigh to muffle my scream of pleasure. As soon as the waves abated I went to work on her cunny. I sucked her erect clit into my mouth and slid three fingers into her hole. She immediately started bucking her hips and I could feel her tunnel muscles clamping on my fingers. She in turn stuck her fingers into me and started pumping in rhythm with mine. I could tell she was getting close again, as was I. I pulled my slimy fingers out of her cunt and worked one up into her asshole. Her fingers double-timed it in my pussy as she came as hard as I had ever seen her cum. I came just from the sheer pleasure of making my best friend cum that way. We collapsed onto the bed and fell deep asleep.
As the summer wore on I discovered just how hard it is to corner my brother if he doesn’t wish to see you. He went to Aunt Karen’s for two weeks and then basically managed to avoid being home anytime I was for the rest of it. I left for school in early September without ever getting to talk to him at all.
I look out at the snow covered ground flying by, as I grow nearer to the man I love and want to take as my own. I wanted to be home three days ago. I had planned on hiding out with him for a couple of days before I went to see my parents.
Instead I spent one day in the infirmary and two more days resting in my dorm allowing a course of anti-biotics work on my strep throat.
I am even more nervous because as we have called each other over the past couple weeks, ha seems to be growing a distance between us. I haven’t heard the longing in his voice, or felt like he is missing me as much as I am missing him. According to my psych books, he might feel abandoned again. One fantastic night might not be enough to win a heart that is used to being ignored and broken. He’s not used to being loved, and therefore is waiting for the other shoe to drop. He might believe he can’t be loved.
I stop for lunch in the early afternoon. As I eat I ponder the dreams. They all are the same. I am sucking my man’s cock in front of a fire place. After he cums in my mouth I tell him to pound my ass. I gave my anal cherry to him when I was home for Thanksgiving. Every time as he is about to force his rock hard cock home, a parade of my friends come through making fun of him. They call him bed wetter and stain. I turn to tell him to ignore them and plow his sister’s ass, and all I see is a 10 year old Steve, picking his nose and playing with his wiener. I freak out and yell “Grow up for fuck’s sake! No wonder mom and dad hate you.” As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret them and wish to undo what can’t be undone. Next thing I know, people in black doctor and nurse uniforms are surrounding kartal escort us, I am being comforted by faceless people and I feel a horrible sense of loss. I always awaken with a sob of sorrow in my throat.
I have discussed this dream with my professors on a few different occasions, leaving out or changing certain details of course, only to be told I am afraid of committing my heart to this man, when I describe him as a lover, or I fear losing a connection, when described as my brother.
I pay my bill, refill my gas tank, buy a bottle of water and hit the road once more. Realizing I am on the final road to home I think back to Thanksgiving.
I pulled into the driveway of my parents’ home on Sunday night. I was happy to see that Stevie’s car was in its parking spot. I wanted to go in and hug him and let him know things were going to be different between us from now on. I was greeted at the door my mom and dad. After a few pleasantries I took my things upstairs, and ran into my brother, whom was going down the stairs. “Steve. Do you have a few minutes to gab with your sis?”
“Sorry Princess,” he said using the nickname he knew I abhorred, “I gotta run; Mike and two liters of vodka are waiting. Try me around the “second coming,” I might have a free minute then.” With that he headed down the stairs and out the door. I heard his car leave and heard my dad curse about the tire marks he left on the street.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, he wasn’t going to warm up to me until I had made the first several moves. I was worried about his drinking and began to put my psych classes to work, formulating a plan to win my brothers love again.
I spent most of the night sleepless, waiting for him to come home. I fell asleep finally around 5 in the morning. I was awakened by his phone ringing sometime later. I heard him go downstairs and come up a few minutes later to vomit violently in the bathroom. I heard the shower come on and decided to go see if he was ok. I walked into the bathroom and saw blood in his puke. Horrified I turned to see Stevie in the shower. He was jacking his cock for all he was worth. I stood mesmerized and his hand pumped on his beautiful prick.
My pussy started tingling and I reached into my panties and began rubbing my clit. His hand began pumping at a furious pace and my diddling fingers matched it. Just as his cock launched his hot sticky jizm on the shower wall I was rocked by my own orgasm. I tried to not make a sound but a sigh escaped me. Fearing he had heard I ran into my room and dove into bed as fast as I could. As soon I heard him leave I immediately began masturbating.
I inserted my fingers into my smooth hairless pussy easily because I was so wet. All I could think of was my brother’s rock hard 8 inch cock pounding into me as I pumped my fingers in and out of my hole. It didn’t take me long at all to cum. About twenty minutes later, Shelby came by and we headed out for a day of catching up and shopping.
Later in the afternoon Shelby suggested we go by Charley’s and see if Steve looked busy. If not we’d take him to lunch and both of us talk to him. I was uncomfortable having Shelby trying to get her talons into him, but I figured in the end I could end up where I wanted to be. Stevie was busy when we went by. I felt another jealous twinge when I saw him demonstrating an instrument to a hot looking soccer mom and her son. I also saw one of his students and his mother waiting for a lesson and could have sworn I saw her checking him out. Once I know Steve spotted us so we went to the Birchwood Mall.
On Tuesday my old boyfriend Tommy, better known as Diesel, came by to take me for a ride in his new car. He was quite proud of it and drove rather recklessly and tried to scare me. We picked up Shelby later on and he asked us if we could find out if Stevie’s car is faster than his. He bragged of beating some guys who raced on the north end of town. He said that he wasn’t going to race any of the guys at Johnny’s unless he knew for sure that he’d win.
“None of those guys will race unless there’s at least $500 on the line. I even hear your brother keeps $1000 on him just for such occasions.”
We both said we’d try to find an opportunity to ride with him and see what his car was like. I had found receipts for things he bought for his car. I knew how much money he had invested in it and I was sure it would beat Tommy’s new car in a heartbeat. Later Shelby and I both decided we’d tell him that Stevie’s car wasn’t all that fast just to see him race Stevie.
Wednesday evening I finally got my opportunity to talk to Steve, or so I thought. Charlotte knew of a party happening that night and we all decided we’d go. Steve was getting ready to go out when I asked him for a ride to Charlotte’s house. I got in his car and immediately buckled my seat belt. He didn’t get many opportunities to scare me and I knew he’d make the most of this. The car shook as he started it and back down the drive way. We got into the street and he floored it, making the car do a wheelie for quite a distance. He kept the stereo turned up so that conversation was impossible, but after the first wheelie he did drive quite sanely and got me to Charlotte’s in one piece.
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