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I shifted in the coarse polyester sweater. It was stiff and felt starchy. The skirt wasn’t much better. I thought that having a uniform wouldn’t be too awful to get used to, but it had only been a few hours and my skin was complaining as much as I was.
“I like the uniforms!” That was Olivia, the other new student. We were both coming in midway through the term, so we were basically lumped in together. “Except the shoes, they’re too stiff, but that’s ok, I wore my own.” She stuck both feet out a bit in front of her, and let them swing back underneath the bench we were stuck together on.
I forced a grim smile and nodded. I decided that I did not like Olivia. She seemed like a morning person. We were told to wait for a girl named Becky to give us a quick tour before we would be cycled into the rest of our classes for the day. I hoped it wouldn’t take too long, and that I didn’t have much overlap with Olivia after this morning.
“The flats are a little slick, though. She was still swinging her feet. I hope the floors aren’t too slippery, or I’ll fall. Wouldn’t that be embaras-“
I zoned out while she chirped on about clothing. I only perked up when an older girl walked toward us. She had her skirt hiked up slightly and a small wrist tattoo was just barely visible under her sleeve; her uniform was close enough to the school standard that she could probably get away with it if no teacher looked too closely.
“Becky?” I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice. It didn’t help that she was very, very pretty.
A little surprised, she glanced at me before opening the door just to my side. “Noo.” She said, turning back and walking through it.
I deflated, but before Olivia could say anything, a voice called out our names, surprising us both. It belonged to a tiny, jittery girl who looked the type to volunteer to show two new students around.
“Hey you two! You must be Claire and Olivia! Oh, but which one…” She smiled, two pointing hands moving back and forth between us. I decided that I did not like Becky.
Olivia giggled and raised her hand a little. “I’m Olivia.”
“Sweet! I’m Becky. That makes you Claire and this a full tour group!” She turned on her heel and started marching away. “Come along!” She chirped.
I rolled my eyes, but followed along next to Olivia.
It went pretty smoothly all in all. She pointed out the cafeteria, some of the major classrooms, the chapel, nothing that wouldn’t have been obvious and easy to find on our own. A bell rang, and the halls quickly filled with students, but it didn’t seem like we were quite through with each other.
“What’s through there?” Olivia interrupted to point across the throng of students to one of the teachers, frowning and ushering a girl through one of the doors that lined the hallway. Unlike the other doors in the hall, which had narrow windows, this door was completely solid, stark.
Becky sombered and actually grabbed our hands, tugging us away and around the corner. It was like she didn’t want to be seen even looking in the direction of that door. “Don’t worry about that. You’ll only have to see through there if you do something really bad.”
Olivia and I nervously looked at each other with the sudden tonal shift.
“But you won’t do anything bad, will you? Well, that’s the first bell, I should really get to class. If you need anything else let me know. We’re all super friendly here!” She whipped around and practically ran away, weaving through students like we might chase her down.
“Well that was wei-” Olivia started. I was already walking away.
I managed to find my first class without any more hand-holding and walked in past already-seated students. The last row or two of seats was completely empty, like everyone else was avoiding the back of the room. I sat down in one of the abandoned desks just as the teacher walked in.
I recognized her from before; she was near the door when Olivia pointed it out. I could see her a little better now. She had a pinched face and her clothes looked like she ironed them in between classes. It was definitely her. Ms. Spencer.
Her eyes immediately fixed on me, like she recognized me, too. I shifted a bit, under her look.
“And what are you doing seated in the back of my class?”
“I-I’m a new student. My name is-“
“I know who you are, Claire Hemsfield. My question wasn’t ‘Who are you,’ it was ‘What are you doing seated in the back of my class.”
I stuttered. I didn’t know what to say. She asked questions in the same way that a bulldozer asks permission.
She waited the barest moment before continuing. “If you are unable to speak for yourself, at least come further up in the class. As an industrious student, your job is to be closer to my lecture, not as far away from it as possible.”
I slowly stood and walked a row forward. The desks weren’t a foot apart, but it felt like it took me minutes to get there. She glared at me all the while, pulling me forward and pushing hatay escort me down into my new seat.
Like the crack of a whip she turned. “Now, at the end of our last class, I assigned several of you problems similar computationally to what we have covered in class. Please come to the front and demonstrate your working for your classmates.”
Several students rose and walked to the blackboard in near-synchronicity. They brought with them notebooks that they studiously copied work from. After a dazed moment, I grabbed a notebook of my own and tried to copy the work that they were “demonstrating.”
I quietly peeked through the window, trying to make as little noise as possible. My room was 23B, but none of the doors were labeled. The room number was repeated above each room’s blackboard, but that meant I had to look through each one to get a sense of where I even was.
“22…g? Am I close?” I was muttering to myself. I couldn’t help it; it just kind of happened when I felt lost or anxious. I felt both.
Walking to the other side of the hall, I peeked in to another door, trying not to be noticed.
“52…a? What?” I walked back from the door and leaned against the wall, feeling hopelessly confused. It was my first day and I was already screwing up. I was about to slide onto the floor and mope when I realized the door I had just looked into was ajar and a confused woman was staring at me.
I jumped, seeing her, and felt the bottoms of my feet start to slip out from under me. My legs flailed at the floor to keep me balanced, but I couldn’t stop myself from falling.
I landed on my arm, crashing into the floor, and squealed.
“Oh, goodness, are you ok, dear?” The woman rushed over and helped me up, letting the door close behind her. Some part of me realized that she was a teacher, the teacher whose class I had interrupted by peeping through her window.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Ow.” I said, clearly not fine.
“Oh, sweetie, let’s get you to the nurse.” She said. Her arm braced against my upper back and my arm naturally gripped my painful, throbbing elbow. She lifted me, practically on her own, with surprising ease.
“No, no, really I’m already late to class and I..really have no idea where it even is.”
She looked a little confused, but it was comforting at least to have someone care. Her face was full of compassion and concern; with the pain shooting through my arm, I just couldn’t help it. I broke down.
“I…I…I’m just so lost.” I started sobbing. She was a little surprised, but she clutched me with her arm, her other hand holding my head as I talked into her shoulder. “The numbers are just so confusing, and Becky wasn’t very helpful, and I just really like these shoes, they’re new, and-“
“Woah, woah. Easy, sweetie.” She slowly unwrapped herself and held my shoulders in her hands. “Why don’t you tell me what room you’re looking for?”
“23B.” I sniffled. “I would have found it myself, but the numbers are only posted on the insides of the rooms. That’s why I was spying on you.”
She stared at me so long I thought that she hadn’t heard me. She swept around and pointed a bit above her room door, close to the ceiling. There in big, bold lettering read ’52A.’
I felt my face grow hot in embarrassment.
She laughed. “Don’t worry, not everyone sees them their first time through.” She leaned in close to me and whispered. “I didn’t.” Then she winked.
I felt loads better as she started walking me away from her room, her arm still against my back.
“We’ll go ahead and still stop by the nurse, just to be on the safe side, then I’ll take you to your class, ok?
She chuckled. “Mrs. Roberts is fine, dear.”
I blushed. “Ok…Mrs. Roberts.”
The rest of the day wasn’t as tough as Maths, but it wasn’t a breeze either. I felt weighted down with assignments and readings as I walked to my last class for the day. The halls were mostly empty, so I wasn’t worried about rushing if I had to.
I turned the corner and saw a girl I thought I recognized peering down an empty hallway. I ducked behind the corner I had just past when her eyes swept over to me and waited a moment before peering back out.
She was gone, but the door she was standing next to was slowly swinging closed. It was one of the school exits. She was ditching.
I crossed the hall, moving toward the door and remembered who she was. She was the girl I had made a fool of myself in front of a few hours ago. She was a few years above me, and we didn’t share a lunch period, so I hadn’t seen her since then.
Realizing the halls were now completely empty, I made a snap judgement and opened the door after her. I noticed the door was taped down where the lock would ordinarily jut out. She was planning on coming back, and knowing I could come back in this way made me feel better about slipping outside and closing the door behind me.
Walking escort hatay out a short ways, I was in the staff parking lot. It was small, and it didn’t really lead anywhere, just one small outlet back to the main road that passed by the school. She had disappeared. Someone must have driven into the lot to pick her up. My heart strangely sank to not find her, and I realized I had to go back inside and risk being caught out of class.
A voice behind me surprised me and I swiveled around.
It was hers. She had one foot propped behind her against the brick wall of the school and a lit cigarette between two fingers. She had an expression like she was trying to place me.
“Becky, right?” She asked.
“Oh, no. I’m Claire. I said Becky, well, I thought you were Becky because-“
She laughed. She had a short, easy laugh. “Easy, Claire. I’m just saying I remember you.”
I liked the way “Claire” sounded, coming from her. I felt my cheeks get a little warm.
She vaguely gestured her cigarette in my direction and coaxed an eyebrow up. Suddenly nervous, I stepped forward and took the cigarette, trying to hold it like she had.
“It’s Alex, by the way.”
“Is it short for Alexandria? That’s pretty.” I didn’t look at her as I said it.
“No, just Alex.” Her voice was smooth and came out easily, like she couldn’t be rushed. “But I’m not a big fan of the word ‘pretty.’ It’s just too in line with the rest of all that patriarchal bullshit, you know?”
“Totally.” I said, as convincingly as I could.
Just then, the door we had come through opened again. Olivia walked and stopped suddenly, looking like a deer caught up in headlights.
“Olivia.” It came out harsher than I meant. Her joining me and Alex frustrated me in a weird way.
“What…are you doing?” She whispered at us from ten feet away. “Smoking is bad for you.”
Alex chuckled and my temper cooled a bit. “Relax.” She said and waved toward us. “Come here.”
Olivia’s shoulders slumped a bit, but she walked over to us.
“Let her have it.” Alex nodded at the cigarette.”
“I don’t want it.” Olivia almost looked scared.
“Just hold it. It won’t bite you. She was calm and encouraging, and she did seem to relax a little.
She tentatively picked it out of my hand and just stared at it.
“That’s not how you hold it.” I said, snatching it back. “Why do you keep following me anyway? Don’t you have your…own friends.” Appearing behind Olivia was the lean, firm form of Ms. Spencer.
Surprised, I dropped the cigarette on the ground. It fell in a small puddle of water and went out, damp and limp.
“Aw, dude.” Alex said to the lost cigarette.
The stern woman’s eyes narrowed at me, at the cigarette still fizzling into the cement, and then leaning to the side to look for Alex who was walking toward her with her hands raised in a mock surrender.
I had no idea how Alex could be so casual about everything. Feeling Ms. Spencer’s eyes appraise us and the situation without asking a single question felt…probing, compromising. I had seen her interrogate without a word. I was afraid of what she would be like when she was really upset.
A short walk to the headmistress’s office later, the three of us were seated at a bench not unlike the one we had all first met on. The circumstances were a little more ominous this time.
“How come you’re not scared?” Olivia asked Alex. I was still a little angry, but I wanted to hear the answer too, so I let it slide.
“Spinster’s bark is worse than her bite. She’s scary if you’re new, but you’ve probably already seen the worst she can do.”
She did look relaxed, like she was used to all of this.
“Who’s that?” Asked Olivia. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes.
Alex grinned. “Ms. Spencer. That’s what we call her behind her back. It’s because she looks like-“
The door opened and a woman walked out, followed by a dissatisfied-looking Ms. Spencer. The woman leading her was tall, like…really tall. She had long, dark hair, a white fitted button-up, and a dark vest and pencil skirt. She looked…sharp, like knife-sharp. Her eyes bored through me before jumping down to my feet and back up in an instant. She did the same to Olivia before turning and walking off down the hall, the clicking of her heels made the air feel tense and hostile.
“So what’l it be, Spence? In-school suspension or out-?” Alex was cocky. I was glad she was standing up to a teacher that I couldn’t.
“No. We’ll be going across the hall.”
Her cocky smile disappeared. It made the back of my spine prickle.
“Is there any particular reason that you’re still standing here?” Ms. Spencer blinked slowly. “You know perfectly well where it is.”
Alex stiffened and slowly stood, walking off with the harsh woman in the direction that the headmistress had gone.
Without turning, the teacher called back to us. “You two as well.”
Olivia and I looked at each other and then scurried to keep up. hatay escort bayan I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but if it made Alex scared, I didn’t want to make it any worse, for her or me.
Ms. Spencer stopped us when we reached the door. It was menacing up close, with a dark wood grain rippling over the surface. Alex and the headmistress had already gone inside.
“Before you girls join us, are you aware of what happens on the other side of this door?
I shook my head and froze when I heard it, muffled through the door: a sharp crack and then a cry of pain, Alex’s cry.
“We take discipline very seriously here, girls. It is in your best interest to behave and strive to do well.”
Another crack, another cry.
“Rule-breaking will not be met with much tolerance. The worse the offense,”
Three sharp cracks and a shriek spun out of the door.
“The harsher the punishment.” Her eyes narrowed at us, and without saying anything more, she pulled open the door and ushered us inside.
The room was small and sparse. A cabinet was set into one wall, with a gleaming dark counter. Several wooden spoons and paddles were arranged on top. There were a few paintings hung on the walls along with the school’s insignia and motto. Something in latin. In the center of the room was a large, wide, desk with the same dark wood counter. It looked cold and hard.
Laid over that desk was the cringing form of Alex. Her skirt was pulled up to her chest, her panties down around her ankles. Her hands were shaking over small pools of condensation on the desk’s surface, her head lay facing away from us. Her bottom was bright red.
The headmistress’s back was to us. She was rubbing Alex’s bright cheeks, examining them. She held a long, heavy-looking paddle in one hand, casually, like she had forgotten it was there.
I heard Olivia gulp. My throat was too dry. The door closed loudly behind us.
Olivia spoke up, to no one in particular. “Will she…will we-“
“It has been decided,” interjected Ms. Spencer, “that you two will only watch.”
“Much can be learned through the example of others.” The principal spoke for the first time I had heard. “There’s no need to repeat the same lesson three times,” she turned and blinked at us, “is there, girls?”
“No, Ma’am.” we said at the same time. Her voice was strong and sweet, like the sharp smell of anise.
She turned back to the table. “I hope that Alex’s discipline will serve you both as well as it serves her. I would very much like not to see any of you here again after today.” She didn’t look back to us, her whole attention on Alex. “Is that clear?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Olivia and I echoed again. I was only half-certain what I was agreeing to. My brain felt foggy. I only knew that there was no way I was ever going to disappoint this woman.
“That goes for you too, Alexandria.” She said, gently touching Alex’s bare bottom with her fingertips, walking around the desk as she did and letting her nails softly drag against exposed skin. “I am..deeply disappointed that our first time together wasn’t very memorable to you.”
“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” Alex whimpered. Even steadied against the desk, it was clear she was trembling.
“No, my dear, clearly you are not.” She set down the paddle she was holding next to Alex, right in front of her face. “But you will be.” She gently laid a hand on Alex’s head.
Alex stiffened and strained into the desk, as if gripping onto it for dear life.
The principal’s head turned to Alex’s bottom. She showed no sign of interest or offense. Her hand slid across Alex’s back and she looked down to her head, now tucked into a shoulder. “Have you completely forgotten your first lesson?”
In response, Alex’s exposed bottom slowly raised, her lower back curving forward to push out her exposed cheeks even more.
“Well I’m glad to see you remember something.” The weight of her disapproval and disappointment were sudden and crushing. I caught myself making a mental note to do what Alex was demonstrating if I were ever stretched across a desk. I didn’t want her to use that tone for me.
She straightened, pulling the paddle across the desk and firmly into her hand. Alex shivered as it slid past her. The woman flexed her arms gently and then positioned herself just to the side and behind the vulnerable girl. She cupped Alex’s hip and let the paddle glide against her, bending over slightly to reach the pink bottom.
“Just like before. Be still for me, girl.”
She was harsh and strong, swatting at the exposed bottom and thighs with targeted ferocity. I felt my whole body tense from just the sound; of the paddle, of Alex’s whimpers, of the headmistress’s ‘tsk’s. I was starting to get overwhelmed. The room lightly spun.
I felt Olivia’s hand on my shoulder. Suddenly, I was anchored, steadied. Her face was pale, but earnest. I felt a little better seeing that she was just as freaked out as I was.
I realized then that the sounds had stopped. I didn’t know how much time had passed. The headmistress walked around the desk, her heels piercing the new silence. She reached down and removed Alex’s head from her shoulder, cupping it in a vice-like upturned hand. Alex blubbered a bit, but otherwise was as attentive as we were.
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